The Great Neopian Food Crisis
by Delibird
Summary: What if all the food in Neopia was magically brought to life by an evil spell? Well, now you know, because this story is now COMPLETE!
1. A Snack Bites Back

**Note: This is a story I wrote for the Neopian Times several years ago. I've tweaked it here and there and corrected a few things (mostly the way certain words were corrupted when the story first appeared in the NT). So many new people have joined NeoPets since this first appeared that I figured why not run it again before a fresh audience?**

**Disclaimer: Of course I don't own NeoPets. If I did, do you think I'd be writing silly fan fiction about them and not getting paid for it? ;-) **

And now - on with the show!

**Part One: A Snack Bites Back**

_Something Had Happened!_

It was Hollowbelly's favorite random event: he had found a food item! A lovely Chocopie Slice lay on the ground, his for the taking. The Green Lupe capered a bit out of sheer delight before settling down to devour his find on the spot. He opened his mouth to gulp the pie whole, and -

- the pie bit HIM instead! Yes, it really did, it split itself to reveal two rows of nasty-looking teeth, and lunged to sink them into Hollowbelly's tender nose. With a howl of shock and pain, the Lupe whipped his head back and forth to dislodge his attacker. The pie let go and was flung several feet. However, instead of splattering, it landed intact and Hollowbelly could see a pair of angry eyes in the creamy topping, glaring balefully at him.

"For goodness' sake, what kind of a pie are you?" the Lupe yelped, unable to believe his own eyes. Were it not for the pain in his nose, he would have thought that he was dreaming.

"A very mad pie," the thing answered in a gooey voice. "Try to eat me, will you? You just wait!" And with that, the pie started to bounce back towards him, vicious teeth snapping.

Hollowbelly did not wait for it. With a loud _"Ki-yi-yipe!" _of terror, he did a one-eighty and bolted. He ran for a full five minutes, not daring to look back to see if that cherry-topped horror was chasing him. When at last he could run no further, he glanced fearfully over his shoulder. There was no pie to be seen. Panting and trembling with relief, he headed for home.

Upon reaching the NeoHome that he shared with his brother (Jonah, a Striped Flotsam) and sisters (BlossomAnn, a Yellow Aisha and Miss_Claus, a Christmas Bruce), Hollowbelly found his siblings huddled together on the lawn. So anxious was he to tell them his incredible story that he did not notice how upset they looked, or that the front door was standing open.

"You guys are not gonna believe what happened to me on the way home -" he began.

"Shhhh!" hissed BlossomAnn. "They'll hear you! Keep your voice down!"

The Lupe raised a questioning ear. "Whaa-? Say, what's going on? Who are 'they?'"

"Our foodstuffs," whispered the Flotsam. "They've come to life. It happened just a little while ago. They all jumped out of the pantry and drove us out of our house!"

"They're mean," whimpered Miss_Claus, who was the youngest. "And scary, too."

At that moment, a Cheeseburger and a carton of Kau Kau Farm Milk appeared in the NeoHome doorway. "You want to keep it down, out there?" the burger snarled at the cowering pets. "The rest of us are trying to take a nap in here, and we don't like to be disturbed!" With that, they went back inside, slamming the door rudely behind them.

"BUT THIS IS OUR NEOHOME!" BlossomAnn yowled at the top of her lungs. Hoots and jeers from within were her only answers.

For a long moment, nobody said a word. Then Jonah glanced at Hollowbelly and inquired, "So, what were you about to say happened to you on your way home, big brother?"

"Never mind," muttered the Lupe. "Let's get out of here."

"Where will we go?"

Hollowbelly thought a moment, then answered, "Let's go visit our cousins. Maybe Pearlbeak can help us out. I'll bet she could beat up all those sassy foodstuffs single-pawedly."

On their way to their cousins' home, the four NeoPets saw many strange and unnerving sights. A Cinnamon Swirl rolled across their path, stopping only to hurl insults at them before rolling on. A group of variously-colored Neggs had gathered in a park clearing, having some sort of meeting. At one point Hollowbelly thought he saw the same Chocopie Slice that had bitten him earlier, teamed up with a piece of Chocolate Cake and a Chocolate Waffle Cone. He shivered and took the long way around to avoid being seen by them.

Even more disturbing was the fact that they did not encounter any other NeoPets, despite the fact that they lived in one of the more populated suburbs of Central Neopia.

When they finally reached their cousins' house, it was almost dark. The usually cheery NeoHome had all the shades drawn and the door shut tight. "The joke's on us if they've been driven out of their home as well," Jonah said gloomily as they approached the door.

Ignoring him, Hollowbelly rang the doorbell. When nothing happened after half a minute, the Lupe began to scratch and knock urgently. "Somebody please answer the door!" he begged.

A soft bumping sound was heard from within, like something was being piled up against the door. "Go away, you awful things, or I'll thrash the lot of you!" squawked a voice that sounded both angry and frightened at the same time. "Leave us in peace, or I'll leave you in pieces!"

"PEARLBEAK!" yapped the Lupe. "OPEN THE DOOR! IT'S US, YOUR COUSINS!"

This was followed by a silence that lasted two seconds, then a dragging sound, as though whatever had been piled up against the door was now being hastily pulled away. At last the door opened, just a crack at first, then flung wide to reveal a female Silver Eyrie. "Hollowbelly! BlossomAnn! Get inside, cousins-" she gestured frantically, "-get inside _quickly!"_

Seconds later they were all within the house and helping to pile furniture back against the door. Nobody had to ask the reason for the barricade. Once it was secure, Pearlbeak turned to her cousins and hugged them one after the other. "Thank goodness you're safe!" she cried. "But what made you come here when it's so dangerous to be traveling right now? You should have barricaded yourselves in your own homes."

"We-we don't have a home right now," Hollowbelly said in a low voice while BlossomAnn tried to comfort Miss_Claus (who was crying). The Green Lupe went on to explain how they had been driven from their NeoHome by the living Food Items.

"Oh, you poor kids," the Eyrie sympathized. "Luckily, we only had a few provisions in our house when they suddenly came to life. A few zaps with my Attack Fork sent them packing out the front door, but they swore they'd return with reinforcements. That's why I thought they had come back when I heard you at the door."

Hollowbelly started to say something else, but at that moment a Fire Wocky bounded into the room. "Hey, cousins! Glad you weren't eaten up trying to get here," he said brightly. "C'mon into the TV room. They're covering the living food thing on the Channel One News right now."

They all followed the Wocky (whose name was 7_flames) down a corridor and into a lavender, squishy-floored room containing a green sofa, a Purple Kougra and a television set. The TV screen showed a worried-looking Gelert newscaster behind a desk. Next to her head was a computer-generated logo that read "NEOPIAN FOOD CRISIS."

"...in Central Neopia, the main Food Shop, the Coffee Shop, The Health Food Shop, the Smoothie Shop, Hubert's Hot Dogs, Pizzaroo and the Bakery have all shut down for the duration of this terrible crisis. In a recent interview, Hubert Mynci was quoted as saying, 'I was very nearly eaten alive by my own merchandise...'"

Hollowbelly cleared his throat nervously. "Guess this means we can't send out for pizza, huh guys?" He felt embarrassed when nobody laughed.

"...the Lost Desert Food Stall tent was completely destroyed. Meanwhile, reports from Terror Mountain indicate that the Slushie Shop and the Happy Ice Fun Snow Shop have both been put on ice until further notice. Likewise, the Tyrannian Food Shop..."

The Green Lupe's stomach rumbled loudly. Hearing about all that food didn't help.

"...Merifoods, Grundo's Diner, the Mystery Island Food Shop, the Golden Dubloon and the Faerie Food Shop have all ceased operations. However, there is one ray of hope in this midst of this dark catastrophe. We take you now, live, to the Soup Kitchen..."

The image on the screen changed to show a very weary-looking Soup Faerie ladling broth into a bowl held by a famished-looking Red Zafara. Behind her stretched a line of hungry NeoPets that seemed to go on for miles and miles.

"Well, at least the Soup Kitchen is still functioning, thank goodness," commented Pearlbeak.

"Yeah, but look at that line," 7_flames countered. "Why, I'll bet if you were very bloated when you entered the back of that line, you'd be dying by the time you reached the front!"

"This is REALLY going to mess up the Gourmet Club, big time," muttered BlossomAnn, who was a high-ranking member of said club. "I had a piece of Faerie Sparklecake at home that I was planning to have for my next meal, but it told me to go stuff it, the rude thing!"

"Poor Soup Faerie," Miss_Claus put in. "Somebody really ought to help her."

"I think somebody already is. Look," said Jonah, pointing to the screen, which now showed several other Faeries of various different alignments pitching in to help pass out bowls and portion out the soup. Nearby, Fyora the Faerie Queen herself was being interviewed. "Until this current crisis has been remedied," she was saying, "the Soup Kitchen will offer nourishment to all, regardless of how many Neopoints one has. It is the least we can do to help Neopia."

"Do you have any idea what can have caused this current situation, Your Highness?"

"None whatsoever. We have our suspicions, of course, but no conclusive evidence. Investigations will be made shortly. I'm afraid I cannot tell you any more than that."

"May I be so bold as to ask what-or whom-you suspect, Your Highness?"

("I'll bet my Wocky Shield of Truth it's Jhudora, the Dark Faerie," whispered 7_flames.)

Fyora shook her head. "No comment, if you please. That will be all."

The screen image cut back to the Gelert reporter. "Thank you, Your Highness. In a related story, word is out in Tyrannia that the Giant Omelette has disappeared, possibly for good. In the following pre-recorded interview, Sabre-X is quoted as saying, 'The Omelette has been missing for over a day now, the longest it's ever been gone...'"

"That may be a blessing in disguise," said the Kougra, speaking for the first time. "Can you imagine how awful it would be if the Giant Omelette came to life? It would be worse that The Stuff-I can just imagine it slithering around, engulfing everything in its path..."

"Cut that out, Kuvu," BlossomAnn hissed as the Bruce whimpered and huddled close to her. "You're scaring Miss_Claus. If she has nightmares tonight, I'm gonna give you such a scratch-"

Kuvu stared at the floor meekly. "Sorry about that, Blossom. I wasn't thinking."

The Yellow Aisha smiled forgivingly at her cousin, then set about putting Miss_Claus to bed in one of the guest rooms. The young Bruce, exhausted from the long walk, fell asleep almost at once, and BlossomAnn returned to the television room to catch the remainder of the news.

The NTV News came to a close with the promise of further updates as they occurred, but Pearlbeak went over and switched the set off. Facing her remaining cousins and siblings, the Silver Eyrie looked grim. "Guys, this situation is well beyond serious," she began. "And as a member of the Defenders of Neopia, I see this as a call to action. I don't need to see my supervisor to know this. And I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not content to just sit here locked in our NeoHome and hope that things get better by themselves soon."

"And slowly starve to death while we're waiting for that to happen," added Hollowbelly, horrified at the very thought of such a thing. "I agree; we gotta do something about it."

"Yeah, but what?" challenged Jonah. "The Faerie Queen herself looked like she was at a loss for what to do. What can mere NeoPets do against something that has the Faeries stumped?"

Pearlbeak smiled slyly. "Fyora mentioned that there will be investigations. Like her, I have my suspicions as to who could possibly be responsible. But whomever is behind this terrible occurrence will undoubtedly be on their guard against Faeries. I figure a small group of determined NeoPets may be able to succeed where the Faeries have failed."

"A small group of determined - and foolhardy - NeoPets may well get their heads handed to them, too!" Kuvu said dryly. "Count me out; I'd rather get in line for the Soup Kitchen."

"Good luck trying to make your way over there," murmured Pearlbeak.

"Well, I'm in," Hollowbelly woofed, standing up. "Better to die fighting than to die hungry."

"I'm in, too," piped up 7_flames. "I've already got cabin fever from being cooped up here."

BlossomAnn and Jonah exchanged glances. Finally, the Yellow Aisha spoke, "I'd like to go, but one of us has to stay with Miss_Claus. She's too young and too timid to do any fighting."

"Say no more, sis," replied the Flotsam. "I'll look after her. You're the better fighter, anyway."

With that settled, Pearlbeak urged everyone to go to bed so they would be well rested for the journey to come. Hollowbelly started to argue that he was already hungry, and would be even hungrier in the morning, therefore they really ought to leave right away, but BlossomAnn fixed him with such a look that he hastily squelched his protests and retired to one of the guest bedrooms. Though his namesake rumbled and growled throughout the night, the Lupe slept.

Meanwhile, outside the NeoHome and all over Neopia, the living Food Items reigned supreme. Sandy produce stalked the Lost Desert. Frozen foods prowled through the Ice Caves. Medieval foods were laying siege to Meridell Castle. Bands of tropical fruit had taken over Mystery Island, seeking to ambush the unwary. Worst of all were the Gross Foods, which were found on every continent and island in Neopia, and were totally without fear, due to how disgusting they were. If a gang of them surrounded any unlucky Neopets, the Gross Foods would taunt and torment the poor creatures by threatening to feed themselves to them.

And the Neopets were confused, frightened, many of them homeless, and all of them hungry.

* * *

_Coming Up Next: **Morsel Combat** _


	2. Morsel Combat

**Part Two:** _Morsel Combat_

Morning came all too quickly for Miss_Claus, who cried when her sister BlossomAnn explained that she and their brother Hollowbelly were going to be leaving her for awhile. The Aisha and the Lupe hugged their little Bruce sister and told her to be good, and mind Jonah, her other brother who was also staying behind. Sniffling a little, Miss_Claus promised that she would.

Pearlbeak and 7_flames were the first ones up, and had already been to their Safety Deposit Box, bringing back a variety of Battle and Defense Items. These had all been neatly arrayed on the kitchen table, and were in the process of being doled out to the appropriate NeoPets.

"Here, Hollowbelly, here's a Lupe Moon Charm that you can use. We were going to sell it, but you can keep it now. Sorry, BlossomAnn, we don't have any Aisha items, but here's a Web Claw the old Brain Tree gave us last week. Kuvu, I'm leaving this Green Frost Cannon with you, to protect the house if necessary. Everybody take one of these Bronze Scorchstones..."

And so it went. In addition to weapons and Defense Magic items, Pearlbeak also put together a couple of first-aid kits; one to take along and one to leave at home. The four NeoPets who were about to leave each wore a Green Backpack containing their personal belongings.

"What about provisions?" asked the ever-hungry Hollowbelly. "You can't expect us to save the world on an empty stomach, can you? Isn't there anything we can snack on?"

"Certainly," Pearlbeak replied coolly. "There's a huge buffet walking around outside. All we have to do is hunt down what we want to eat and kill it first."

The other three-Hollowbelly included-gasped at this. But the Eyrie was firm. "Listen you guys, this is a war we're about to fight. And there's only one law in a war like this: EAT OR BE EATEN. Hollowbelly, you are quite correct; we won't be able to save Neopia if we're all weak from hunger. Therefore, it may be necessary to use violence to secure our meals." She hefted her Attack Fork. "Is anyone having second thoughts about going through with this? This is your last chance to chicken out and stay home, so cluck now or forever hold your peace."

Nobody said anything, though none of them looked particularly happy, either.

"All right then. Let's go for it."

A last exchange of fond farewells with Jonah, Kuvu and Miss_Claus (plus some tearful hugs with the latter) and the intrepid adventurers had begun their journey.

* * *

_We interrupt this story to bring you a short article on Neopian Transport._

It is a little known fact that there is an advanced form of transportation utilied throughout the many worlds of Neopia. But think about this for a moment, dear reader: how do you suppose you and your pets go from the Lost Desert to Winter World, to the VirtuPet Space Station, to Krawk and Mystery Island, to Faerieland, to Meridell and back home to Central Neopia all within in a single hour, or perhaps even a few minutes? For those of us outside the monitor screen, transport is merely a point and a click away. Yet, how is this perceived by our pets?

My answer: every section of civilized Neopia contains a teleport booth that sends up to four NeoPets at a time to the destination of their choice, almost instantly (sometimes there's a bit of a time lag). Though occasionally a group of pets will end up in the mysterious white land of "The Page Cannot Be Displayed," every booth is equipped with a Panic Button that will send its passengers back to where they started, in order that they may try again or exit the booth.

_We now return you to our regularly scheduled story installment._

* * *

It was not long after they had left their NeoHome that our heroes encountered their first gang of feral Food Items. Curiously, they were all bacon-related. There were a couple of Bacon Dogs Deluxe, a Honey and Bacon Burger, and several rashers of Streaky and Danish Bacon.

"Ready your weapons," hissed Pearlbeak to the others, "but don't attack unless I say so."

"Well, well, what have we got here?" grunted the Honey Bacon Burger in a greasy voice.

"Lemmee guess," replied one of the Hot Dogs. "Breakfast, right?"

In spite of himself, Hollowbelly began to salivate. He hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, and the smell alone was enough to drive the poor famished Lupe frantic.

"Aww, lookie, the green puppy is drooling," sneered a piece of Streaky Bacon. "Hey, Puppy, you want a piece of me? Well, come and get it!"

"Let's get a piece of them instead!" barked the hamburger, and they all charged at once.

"ATTACK!" shrieked Pearlbeak, whipping up her fiery Fork as the battle was joined.

It was over almost before it had truly begun. The Eyrie's Attack Fork crisped the slices of Streaky Bacon in mid-leap. 7_flames took out the Bacon Dogs Deluxe with his Wocky Wand of Darkness. BlossomAnn used the Web Claw to first ensnare and then slash the rashers of Danish Bacon. As for Hollowbelly, he had met the charge of the Honey and Bacon Burger with no weapon other than his natural-born teeth. So ravenous was he that he proceeded to devour his foe on the spot, and was half-way through it before he realized just what he was doing.

Appalled, he stared wildly at BlossomAnn. "It's okay," the Yellow Aisha assured him. "I know it's a Gourmet Food, but it's one I've already had, so you can have it. Enjoy it, brother."

"Um, that's not what I was worried about..." Hollowbelly started to say, but Pearlbeak interrupted him. "Just as I thought!" she crowed. "Take a look at our attackers. They look just like normal food, now. Their eyes and mouths have disappeared." She held up one of the 'slain' hot dogs. Sure enough, though slightly ravaged, it looked like an ordinary Food Item.

"Well, that's good to know," commented 7_flames. "I don't think I could have eaten a hot dog that was glaring at me, no matter how hungry I was."

Pearlbeak shook her head. "Don't you get it? This food isn't really alive at all-it's been bewitched or enchanted or something. And 'killing' the food breaks the spell."

There was a brief silence as the other three contemplated the Silver Eyrie's words. "Do you mean to say that all we have to do is 'kill' all the food, and then everything will return to normal?" asked BlossomAnn, frowning at this concept.

"No, I mean to say that some practitioner of Magick must have cast a spell to animate all of the food in Neopia. And I propose that we find this person and force them to remove the spell. That's certainly a lot simpler than going around 'killing' all the food. And less messy, too."

They gathered up all the edible bits of food that had not been scorched to a crisp or mashed into the dirt and made a fine breakfast of it. Hollowbelly finished the rest of the Honey and Bacon Burger. As he did so, he caught a glimpse of some other Food Items skulking in the bushes. Apparently their battle had not gone unnoticed, and the other "living" foodstuffs were keeping their distance now. Or perhaps they were plotting revenge.

"So where are we going, O Fearless Leader?" asked 7_flames the Fire Wocky, once they were underway again. "You've read the most books, so you're the brains of this group. You must have some sort of battle plan, else we wouldn't have embarked on this mission to save Neopia."

"Right you are," answered Pearlbeak with a grin. "Our first stop is the Haunted Woods."

Once again, the other three NeoPets gasped in unison. "You don't mean-"

"I do indeed. Who else would bewitch food, but a Witch? Maybe old Edna has gone off her rocker for good, but we've got to go to her Tower and find out if she's the one."

They reached the local teleport booth without further mishap. Already, word of their battle with the Bacon Gang had spread to the point that the foodstuffs were avoiding the group-for now. The four of them bundled into the shiny glass booth and Pearlbeak pressed the button for the Haunted Woods. There was a low humming that rose in pitch, a feeling of discorporation, and then, with a sudden flash, they were gone.

In a particularly lonely patch of the Haunted Woods rested that world's teleport booth. Unlike the one located in Central Neopia, this booth was unkempt and covered with cobwebs and mildew. Nevertheless, it still performed to perfection; a rising hum and an abrupt flash heralded the arrival of our four heroes. Nervously, they stepped out into the gloomy forest.

They had not gone far, however, when suddenly a group of terrified NeoPets burst out of the woods and nearly ran them over in their headlong dash to reach the teleport booth. "Hey watch it!" yelled 7_flames as a Purple Cybunny pushed its way rudely past him. "What's the rush?"

The Cybunny kept on running without answering, but a Red Mynci paused long enough to gasp out, "Run, run, you fools! Run for your lives! Run, or you will be destroyed!"

"Run from what?" called Pearlbeak. "I don't see anything chasing you. Anyways, I'm a Defender of Neopia, I am, and I never run. We're trying to save Neopia here."

"So were we," a Glowing Korbat huffed over its shoulder. "Until we met the Spooky Food! If you want to go on living, you'd be wise to follow us. Get out of the Haunted Woods, now!" With that, the Korbat crammed itself into the teleport booth after its companions. An instant later the booth flashed and was empty once more.

In the uneasy silence that followed, the four remaining NeoPets glanced at one another. Finally, the Silver Eyrie muttered, "Some Defenders of Neopia _they_ turned out to be. I'll bet they never even made it past the first mission. I'm glad there are no cowards in our group."

"I hate this place," BlossomAnn muttered to no one in particular. "The last time I came here, a Ghost popped up and scared me silly. I swore I'd never come again, yet here I am now."

"Shhh," Pearlbeak shushed her, "I have a feeling that the Ghosts will be the least of our problems on this trip. Everybody stay close and make as little noise as you can."

This latter order proved to be difficult to follow, owing to the ground being completely covered with a rustling, crackling carpet of dead leaves. No matter what time of year it was in the rest of Neopia, the Haunted Woods always seemed to be stuck in autumn. And no matter what time of day it was elsewhere, it was perpetually midnight in the spooky Woods.

"I'm sure glad we left Miss_Claus at home," BlossomAnn whispered to Hollowbelly.

"Me too," the Lupe started to say before catching sight of something that made him choke on those two words. Up ahead in the darkness between the trees gleamed a myriad pairs of lights like the wings of fireflies. Except that these were not firefly wings. "Eyes!" yelped Hollowbelly. "Hundreds of them! Get back, everyone-it's an ambush!"

"Aw RATS!" yowled 7_flames as the owners of the eyes sprang towards them.

For Rats they were: Almost Gummy Rats of various flavors, some Lime Green, others Grape Purple, but mostly dozens and dozens of Strawberry Pink Rats. They didn't even bother to hurl insults or threats, but with a great chittering and snarling, they flew at the companions' throats.

Once again, the NeoPets' Battledome weapons were brought into play, but this time they had no easy fight on their paws. The sheer number of Almost Gummy Rats proved to be quite overwhelming, and their almost gummy teeth delivered a surprisingly hard nip. Pearlbeak melted a horde of Rats into a multicolored pile of almost gummy sludge with her Attack Fork, but the others were having a more difficult time of it.

7_flames found that his Wocky Wand of Darkness had little or no effect on the candy vermin (probably owing to the fact that they, being Spooky Food, were creatures of darkness and therefore immune). As he fumbled for his Wocky Hair Grenade to throw at them, a whole pack of strawberry-flavored Rats pounced on him. Reacting blindly, he used his Fireball ability to drive them off. It was a grave mistake, for instead of running away, the confectionary Rats melted all over him, and suddenly 7_flames found himself in danger of suffocating. He attempted to wipe the sticky mess from his face, but his entire body was completely covered with the stuff, and he could barely move because of it. When he tried to yell for help, he only gagged on a mouthful of melted Almost Gummy Rat. He was just about to black out, when-

*FWOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!* Pearlbeak turned her Attack Fork on the mucked-up form of her brother. BlossomAnn screamed and buried her face in Hollowbelly's chest fur, for it looked as though 7_flames must surely burn to death. Indeed, his body stiffened under the fiery assault, and when the flames finally ceased to wash over him, he lay on his back, utterly still. The terrific heat had caused the Rats' sugary bodies to dissolve almost completely, leaving the poor Wocky covered from head to tail in a brittle coating of caramel.

Immediately, the Eyrie lunged at the unmoving form and with all haste began breaking the sweet shell that encased her brother. She cleared his nose and mouth first, then proceeded to administer beak-to-mouth resusitation. Much to BlossomAnn's and Hollowbelly's relief, 7_flames soon began to cough and gasp for air. "Help-*hukh* help me!" he choked.

"Easy, brother-you're gonna be all right now," Pearlbeak soothed as she resumed picking at the caramelized coating, while the other two came over to help. "Just take it easy."

"I can't see!" 7_flames wailed in anguish. "I'm blind! Those filthy Rats ate my eyes!"

"I don't think so," the Silver Eyrie smiled as she broke off a chunk of caramel that had been covering the Wocky's eyes. "Try opening them now." 7_flames did so, and found himself staring sheepishly up at his sister's face. "Thanks, sis. I was kinda worried there for a minute."

"YOU were kind of worried!" BlossomAnn gaped at her cousin. "I thought you were toast!"

"Hey, I'm a Fire Wocky, remember?" 7_flames grinned back at her. "I can take the heat. Ah! Ah!-easy there-you're pulling my fur off with the tacky stuff," he complained.

"Sorry, can't be helped," grunted Hollowbelly. "You want to be able to walk, don't you?"

Another minute of caramel cracking and Wocky crabbing and the companions were ready to move on, careful to avoid the piles of melted Almost Gummy Rats that were scattered about them. Unlike after their first battle, they did not attempt to eat any of the food they had "killed."

"Even if we get the Food Items changed back to normal, I don't ever, EVER want to see another Almost Gummy Rat for the rest of my life," 7_flames muttered disgustedly.

* * *

**Next:** _Witch Way?_


	3. Witch Way?

**Part Three: **_Witch Way?_

The four companions continued to make their way through the Haunted Woods, searching for the Tower of old Edna, the Witch. Twice they were attacked by vicious Claw-Matoes, but luckily their numbers were not as daunting as the horde of Almost Gummy Rats that had assaulted them earlier. Though they were all starting to feel hungry (especially Hollowbelly), none of them wanted to eat the ugly, misshapen, red and green tomatoes after defeating them.

"Are you sure you know where the old hag's tower is, sis?" 7_Flames asked Pearlbeak.

The Silver Eyrie nodded, glancing down at a dark piece of parchment that she had taken from her backpack. "According to this map, we're nearly there."

"Aw, that's just a piece of a map," her brother groused. "You can't expect it to be accurate."

"Oh, can't I?" Pearlbeak crowed triumphantly, pointing ahead of them. Sure enough, the grim shape of a forbidding-looking tower was visible through the veil of dead trees. In fact, it looked so forbidding that for a long moment, the four Neopets just stood and stared at their goal.

"So," whispered BlossomAnn, "what now? Do we try to sneak in, or march in boldly?"

"I think the best approach would be to pretend we've come to perform an errand for the Witch," Pearlbeak replied. "We'll just walk in casually -"

"Uh, guys..." began Hollowbelly.

"- ask to see old Edna, and she'll probably be brewing up another Glowing Potion of Negg Frazzling or somesuch nonsense, and then we -"

"Guys..." repeated the Lupe, a little louder this time.

"- offer to find the spell ingredients she needs, but one of us will sneak away and search her Tower for any clues as to whether -"

"GUYS!" barked Hollowbelly. "LOOK OUT FOR THE SPAGHETTI!"

Before Pearlbeak could reach for her Attack Fork, a series of slimy, rope-like tentacles whipped over her, pinning the Eyrie's arms and wings to her body. Screaming with rage, she tried to slash the restraining appendages with the claws on her feet, but another thick strand of Mummy Spaghetti wrapped around them as well. More strands lashed out and snared the other three even as they tried to ready their own weapons. There was no escape; they were surrounded on all sides by an enormous mass of squirming, clinging Mummy Spaghetti. In a trice, the four of them were securely bound and muzzled by the clammy vines.

Still more spaghetti oozed and spilled into the clearing, pushing its way under the helpless NeoPets, lifting them up and bearing them toward Edna's Tower. While this was happening, Hollowbelly's mind was reeling: _This stuff's taking us straight to the Witch! She _must _be controlling it somehow. _Pearlbeak was right-Edna must be the one who enchanted all the food. He tried to catch his cousin's eye to convey this thought to her. The Eyrie returned the Lupe's glance with a grim, knowing nod to indicate she understood.

Into the dark Tower the Mummy Spaghetti slithered with its four prisoners, up a winding staircase dimly lit with torches. At last they reached the top floor, a musty, smoke-filled room with a cauldron smoldering on a fire. Next to it was the Mistress of the Tower, Edna the Witch.

"Well, well, well," the ancient crone chortled, rubbing her gnarled hands together. "What have we here? Four mummified Neopets, come to visit old mother Edna? Eh-heh-heh-heh!"

Pearlbeak made an indignant sound through the spaghetti clamping her beak shut.

"Release them, and leave us for now," the Witch commanded. At once the Mummy Spaghetti unwrapped itself from the four of them and slurped away down the stairs.

As soon as he could speak, 7_Flames blurted out, "I HATE ALL SPOOKY FOOD!"

"Now, now," cackled Edna, shaking a withered finger at the Wocky. "That's no way to talk. They're quite obedient servants, as you can plainly see. Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh!"

"Hey, my backpack is gone," Hollowbelly suddenly realized.

"Mine, too," BlossomAnn cried. "The Mummy Spaghetti must have taken them from us."

"Give us back our stuff, you old crow!" yowled 7_Flames.

"Tch-tch, such manners!" scolded the Witch. "Is that any way to speak to your hostess? You four are guests in my Tower, and unless you promise to behave, I'll whistle for the Mummy Spaghetti to return and wrap you up until you do! Do I make myself clear, my little Neopets?"

Grudgingly, the four of them promised to behave themselves. Pearlbeak, though furious at the loss of her Attack Fork and the rest of their possessions, kept her voice low as she spoke: "Why'd you do it, Edna? Why did you curse all the Food Items and make them come to life?"

The Witch seemed genuinely taken aback by this question. "Dear, dear! How you talk, my pretty! You think that poor old Edna is the one responsible for the Great Neopian Food Crisis, do you? You are quite wrong, my Mallard. I have cast no such spell as that."

"But..." the Eyrie protested, confused by this unexpected denial, "...but the Mummy Spaghetti brought us here, and obeyed your commands. You must be controlling it, therefore you must have used magic to make it come to life in the first place. Well, didn't you?"

"I'll bet she sicced those Almost Gummy Rats on us, too," muttered 7_Flames.

Edna shook her head. "The Mummy Spaghetti obeys me, `tis true, for I am the Dark Lady of the Haunted Forest and the Mistress of all Spooky Food. But I swear by my broomstick that I am not the one who ensorcelled the Food Items, my brash and brazen little NeoPets."

For a moment, nobody knew quite what to say. Finally, BlossomAnn ventured the question, "Well, if _you_ didn't, then perhaps you have an idea of who did?"

"Hah!" sneered the Witch. "If I knew that, I'd send the Mummy Spaghetti after them, I would! This Food Crisis affects me too, dearies. I sometimes need a leg of Chicken or a ripe pair of Cherries to put into my brew for spell purposes. But ordinary food won't obey me like the Spooky Food does. It hops right out of my hand and runs away before I can pop it into my cauldron. And no NeoPets will dare come to me for quests anymore, either; you four are the first I've seen since the crisis began. So you see, my poppits, I want to see the food returned to normal as much as you do. But how can I do anything to help, when I cannot make my spells?"

"In other words, we've just wasted our time coming here," grumbled the Fire Wocky.

"Well, at least now we know for certain it wasn't Edna," Pearlbeak replied. "That's something, anyway. I guess we'll head over to Faerieland to check on my other suspect: Jhudora."

The Witch nodded. "Clever little Baabaa. Jhudora-now therrrre's a _real_ witch! Cunning NeoPets must beware, for she's twice as powerful as old Edna and three times as wicked."

"What about our belongings?" Hollowbelly wanted to know.

Edna clapped her hands twice, and the Mummy Spaghetti returned, depositing the four backpacks at their feet. "There you are. If you can succeed in changing all the Food Items back to normal, old mother Edna would be ever so grateful. Come back after you've accomplished your goal, and I'll give a Strawberry Almost Gummy Rat to each of you."

7_Flames made a gagging sound. "Thanks, Edna, that's very kind of you," Pearlbeak said politely as she put her backpack on. "We will remember your offer. Goodbye, now."

"Wait!" cried the Witch as they were about to leave. "There's something I can give you right now, to keep up your strength. I'm guessing you bold young NeoPets have been eating none too well since the Food Crisis started, am I right?" She picked up a sealed jar.

"Well, actually-" Pearlbeak began.

"No Ma'am, we sure haven't!" Hollowbelly woofed quickly, despite BlossomAnn's glare.

"As I thought," the Witch chuckled, removing the lid from the jar. Four lumpy white objects floated out, each choosing a NeoPet's backpack and flying over to it. Upon closer inspection, each "object" was actually a cluster of five marshmallows with smiling faces.

"Ghost Marshmallows!" exclaimed Pearlbeak.

"Gourmet Food," murmured BlossomAnn. "Too bad I've already had them..."

"You don't seriously expect us to eat these, do you?" 7_Flames asked. "I mean, they're alive!"

"Silly goose!" Edna grated, "Why do you think they're called Ghost Marshmallows? They're not afraid of being eaten-their spirits will simply float back into my jar and reform into more Ghost Marshmallows. Now take them and be gone; I've been too nice to you Neopests!"

And with that, the Witch siezed her broom and shooed the four of them down the stairs and out of the Tower. The door slammed behind them and they could hear it being barred from within.

"Disagreeable ol' Witch," growled 7_Flames.

"Oh, I don't know," BlossomAnn mused. "Sometimes I think she's not half as nasty as she would like us to believe. I suspect she was simply trying to save her reputation just now."

"And she did give us the Ghost Marshmallows," Hollowbelly reminded his cousin.

The Wocky scowled. "Well, I'm not eating mine. I've gone right off Spooky Food for good."

"Can I have yours, then?" the Green Lupe asked hopefully.

"No."

Either the Witch must have somehow ordered all the Spooky Food to leave the group alone, or else their enemies had finally learned a bit of prudence after witnessing the defeat of the Almost Gummy Rats and the Claw-Matoes. Whichever it was, the four Neopets made their way back through the Haunted Woods to the teleporter without further hostility. Only once did they pause along the way, when an eerie groan made their fur and feathers stand on end.

"Sssooooooo . . . hhhunnnnnnngrrrryyy . . . "

"What was that?" 7 Flames whispered, without really wanting to know.

"Shhh," hissed Pearlbeak. "It's only the Esophagor. Just keep walking; he can't hurt us."

"Hhhhelllllllp mmmeeeeeee, plllleeeeeeeasssse . . . "

"He sounds so sad," BlossomAnn could not help noticing.

"Keep walking!"

But the Yellow Aisha had already stopped, and was now stepping bravely towards the miserable-looking pile of sludge that was the Esophagor. Never a beauty contest winner during the best of times, the thing looked positively wretched in the wake of the Neopian Food Crisis. With no NeoPets to bring it the victuals that it constantly craved, the Esophagor had shriveled and shrunk to two-thirds of its normal size. BlossomAnn felt an unusual pity for the creature.

"Can I help you?" she asked it. "Do you want something to eat?"

The Esophagor's sunken pits of eyes stared blearily at her. "Fffooooood..." was all it said.

"I know how it feels," commented Hollowbelly, who had come up behind his sister.

BlossomAnn unslung and opened her backpack. "I know you only eat Spooky Food, Mister Esophagor, and all I have with me right now are these Ghost Marshmallows. Will they do?"

"Ghhoooooosst Mmarrrrshhhmmallllllloooowsss," sighed the Esophagor. "Goooooood."

As soon as these drawn-out words were spoken, the Ghost Marshmallows floated out of the Aisha's paw and drifted, still smiling, into the dark, gaping cave that was the Esophagor's mouth. BlossomAnn tried not to wince as they were promptly chewed up. "Mmmmmmmm . . . yyummmmy," the Esophagor murmured. Then, "Mmmooorrrrrre?" it asked hopefully.

"Here, take mine," offered 7_Flames, who had joined the other two. "And good riddance."  
Pearlbeak rolled her eyes, but she wound up giving her Ghost Marshmallows as well.

"How about yours, Hollowbelly?" asked BlossomAnn.

The Lupe's ears reddened in embarassment. "Um, I'm afraid I ate mine already, back when we were still in the Witch's Tower. Sorry. Hey, I was hungry - don't look at me like that!"

"You're such a chow hound," 7_Flames teased. "So how come BlossomAnn is a member of the Gourmet Club and not you, Hollowbelly? You seem like a natural winner to me."

"I can answer that," replied the Aisha. "When you're competing in the Gourmet Club, you're really not supposed to eat anything EXCEPT Gourmet Food. My chow hound brother here wouldn't be able to stand not having his favorite junk food while competing, so that's out."

"Aw, knock it off, you guys," Hollowbelly whined as his cousins laughed at him.

By this time, the Esophagor had finished consuming the three groups of Ghost Marshmallows. "Thhhannnnk youuuuuuu, NnnneoPetssss. Essophagorrr grrrratefffulllllll. Taaake thhhissss." The sludgey, slimy body moved back to reveal a slightly damp jar of Fire Snow.

Pearlbeak collected the prize. "Thanks, `Sophie. Hope you feel better soon."

It was not far from the Esophagor to the teleport booth. "Next stop, Faerieland," the Silver Eyrie announced as she adjusted the controls and pressed the button. _*Blink*_

* * *

**Next:** _Dark Faerie, Dark Heart_


	4. Dark Faerie, Dark Heart

Part Four: Dark Faerie, Dark Heart

The first thing our heroes noticed when they arrived in Faerieland was how deserted it appeared. Gone were the crowds of happy Neopets that were usually present to place their bets on the Poogle Races or to try their luck at the Wheel of Excitement. Pearlbeak figured that everyone was either in line for the Soup Kitchen back in the Central Neopian Marketplace, or else they were locked in their homes, too frightened of the living Food Items to go outside.

"That reminds me," spoke up BlossomAnn. "I'd like to send a Neomail to Jonah and Miss Claus, just to let them know where we are and that we're all right. I hope we can find a shop that's still open." [Author's note: another Little Known Fact of Neopia is the fact that there are Neomail stations located in nearly every shop. Just to let you know...]

As they explored the empty avenues of Faerie City, several fluttering things that looked like butterflies approached them. At first they appeared to be Faeries, but upon closer inspection they realized that it was an assortment of Faerie Food. A wing-shaped slice of Faerie Toast with Butter flapped past them, followed by a few Earth Faerie Brownies and a whole flock of Extra Cheesy Cheddar Crisps ("Gourmet Food," BlossomAnn whispered to 7_Flames when she saw the latter. "Been there, eaten that." she added, taking care that the food did not hear her).

Unlike the Spooky Food and the food prowling around Central Neopia, the Faerie Food showed a remarkable lack of aggression. They flew in circles around the companions, giggling mischievously, but made no attempt to attack them. Or at least they did not until a high-pitched squealing broke from one of the Food Items: "Eeeek! Ow! Oh, help-help! Murder! Police!"

Pearlbeak, 7_Flames and BlossomAnn whirled about to see a shamefaced Hollowbelly with a struggling Pigalicious Ham Sandwich clenched in his jaws. Hastily, the Lupe dropped the Sandwich, but it was too late. The Faerie Food began divebombing all four Neopets, uttering cries of "Brutes!" "Scoundrels!" "Villians!" "Cannibals!" and other epithets. Pearlbeak used her Attack Fork to swat the food away, but she did not have the heart to shoot flames at them.

Finally, the last one - a Faerieland Gourmet Burger - gave up the fight and flitted away on its wings of Faerie bread. As she put away her Attack Fork, the Eyrie gave Hollowbelly a_ look._

"It wasn't my fault!" the Green Lupe protested. "I had my mouth open in a yawn, and I swear, the Sandwich just flew right into it! I think maybe they just wanted an excuse to attack us."

"I think maybe you just wanted an excuse to feed your face." Pearlbeak said tartly.

* * *

The Faerie Food Store was, of course, closed due to the Food Crisis. It had, in fact, been sealed with a magic spell to keep the hostile food within the building locked up. But so was the nearby Faerie Book Shop shut down, with a notice on the door that read: "OWNER GONE TO HELP THE SOUP FAERIE IN CENTRAL NEOPIAN MARKETPLACE."

There was just one other store to check - the Faerie PetPet Shop. They reached the building only to discover that it too was closed, its front door locked. However, when BlossomAnn peeked in through the window, she saw an Earth Faerie busy tending to the PetPets inside. Rapping on the window caused the Faerie to look up in surprise. "I'm sorry, but we're closed right now," the Faerie called through the windowpane, shaking her head at the four of them.

"We're not here to buy PetPets," the Aisha informed her. "I need to send a Neomail. Please?"

The Faerie, who was a kindhearted soul, replied, "Well, if you can get it done before I'm finished here, I'll let you in. I'm supposed to be helping the Soup Faerie, but I came back here because I needed to take care of the PetPets. I'll be off again soon. So, if you're quick..."

"Thank you, Miss Faerie," BlossomAnn purred. "I won't be but a minute, I promise."

They entered the shop and the Faerie locked the door behind them ("To keep out unwelcome visitors," she explained). While BlossomAnn busied herself at the Neomail station, the other three glanced about the shop. "Try not to touch anything," Pearlbeak warned the other two.

"Aw, you're too bossy," 7_Flames griped, putting his nose to a cage that contained a fluffy Meekins. "Hi there, cutie," he cooed at it. "Would you like to be my PetPet someday?"

In response, the Meekins promptly screamed "EEEEEEEEEEEEH!" into the Wocky's face.

"Sorry about that," said the Earth Faerie as she brought a dish of PetPet food to the Meekins's cage. "When a Meekins is hungry, all it'll do is shriek until you feed it."

"Wha'd you say?" moaned 7_Flames. "I can't hear you. My ears haven't stopped ringing yet."

"Serves you right, nosey." Pearlbeak scolded him.

Meanwhile, Hollowbelly was very interested in the fact that the PetPet food was not affected by the spell that had brought all of the NeoPet food to life. He found a large open bag of the stuff in the rear of the shop, and when nobody was looking, snatched a mouthful of it. Unfortunately for the Green Lupe, it tasted horrible. He was too embarrassed to spit it out, and just managed to swallow it down before staggering back to the others, looking quite a bit greener than usual.

"All finished," BlossomAnn was saying. "Not only did I send an update to Jonah, but I found a Neomail he had sent me after we left them. Apparently, he and Kuvu had already discovered the fact that 'beating' the living Food Items in a fight makes them turn back to normal, and they now have enough edible food in the NeoHome to last the three of them a while."

"That's a relief," nodded Pearlbeak. "Now they won't have to go to the Soup Kitchen."

"Which is where I need to be getting back to," put in the Earth Faerie with a smile.

They thanked the Faerie and left the shop, watching her lock up again before she departed. "She's a bigger hero than the four of us," mused the Eyrie. "We may be trying to save Neopia, and admittedly we haven't done much yet. But she - and others like her - has given her time and effort to help feed the hungry. That's another type of heroism, a very important type at that."

Inspired by Pearlbeak's words, the four NeoPets felt a fresh resolve in their mission; they were no longer just doing it for themselves, but for the good of Neopia! Soberly, they turned their faces in the direction of their next goal: the grim, purple cloud of Jhudora, the Dark Faerie.

* * *

Jhudora's cloud was a low-hanging thunderhead located at the edge of the main Faerieland clouds. A winged NeoPet such as an Eyrie could have flown there directly, but Pearlbeak chose to remain with her companions and use the special teleport booth that was strictly for gaining access to the Dark Faerie's cloud. "It's best we stay close together," she explained.

When the booth deposited them at the rim of the cloud, the four NeoPets peered out nervously, expecting to be greeted by the dark mistress herself. Much to their surprise, Jhudora was nowhere to be seen. In fact, it looked as though she had been gone for some time, as the cloud was in a general disarray, strewn with various non-food items, possibly the objects of quests.

"Jhudora could use a good housekeeper," commented 7_Flames as he kicked aside a Chomby Slingshot, a weapon that was useless to the group since only a Chomby could use it.

"What do you suppose could have done this?" asked BlossomAnn, beginning to pick up scattered Collectable Cards so they wouldn't blow away. "The Living Food, perhaps?"

Pearlbeak considered. "It's possible. I've heard that Jhudora often asks Neopets to bring her food items, so maybe the food went berserk and trashed the cloud before it left via the teleport booth. But if that's the case, then maybe Jhudora isn't the one after all. I wonder-"

At that moment, a dreadful sound, a moan of purest agony cut through the thin air surrounding them. Hollowbelly, already on edge from being in the lair of the evil Dark Faerie, turned to bolt and almost pitched himself into the lake of violet slime located in the middle of the cloud.

Pearlbeak just managed to grab him by the tail. "Calm down!" the Eyrie hissed fiercely through her beak. Then, to the unseen voice, she called "Who's there?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh..." came the answer. "Ohhhh, oooooooohhh..."

"I thought we left the Zombies behind back in the Haunted Woods," 7_Flames quipped shakily.

With her Attack Fork at the ready, Pearlbeak moved cautiously towards where the sound was coming from. A large lump of purple cloud was hiding the moaner from view. Wary of a trap, the Silver Eyrie crept very slowly around the obstacle, until at last her eyes beheld -

- a Brown Meerca, locked up in an emerald cage and looking extremely sick to its stomach!

"Who are you?" Pearlbeak demanded as the other three came up behind her.

"Uhhhhhhh..." groaned the Meerca, turning a bloodshot eye towards the group. "Not again. Not more hallucinations. Curse you, Jhudora! Oh, let me die, please just let me die..."

At once BlossomAnn pushed her way past Pearlbeak "Oh, you poor thing!" she cried, unslinging her backpack. "What's the matter? Neggitus? Achy Head? Cricky Neck?"

"Meercas don't have necks," 7_Flames reminded her.

Ignoring her cousin, BlossomAnn continued to address the suffering creature. "I've got some Medicines in my pack here. Just tell me what hurts, and I'll see what I can do for you."

"My stomach," the Meerca whimpered. "I've been ... poisoned. Are you ... are you for real?"

While the Yellow Aisha searched her backpack for an antidote, Hollowbelly came forward to examine the bright green cage that imprisoned the Meerca. There did not appear to be any kind of latch or padlock on it, nor indeed any means of opening the cage at all. "However did you end up inside this thing?" he asked, scratching ineffectually at the bars.

"I caught him stealing from me, and I put him in there, that's how!" a new and terrible voice answered. A sudden, mutual dread siezed the companions as they turned to view the speaker. Before them stood Jhudora, one of the most feared of the Dark Faeries, arms crossed and green lips twisted in a sneer. "And I would gladly do the same for all four of you!"

"Don't you dare!" yelled Pearlbeak with a bravado that belied her suddenly pounding heart. "We aren't thieves - we only came here looking for you! We desire a quest!"

"I'm no longer giving out quests, sweetie. Not while this stupid Food Crisis is going on."

"The stupid Food Crisis that YOU created?" blurted out 7_Flames.

Pearlbeak shot her brother a warning glance, but it was too late.

The Dark Faerie gave a contemptuous snort. "I knew it! 'Why did you cause Maraqua to sink, Jhudora?' 'What did you do to mess up the Faerie Crossword Game, Jhudora?' 'How come you made the site go down again, Jhudora?' Every time something goes wrong in Neopia, the first person everyone suspects is either Dr. Sloth or me! It never fails!"

"Well, actually, our first suspect was old Edna the Witch," admitted Hollowbelly.

"WHAT? You dared to place that senile old hag before ME? How insulting!"

BlossomAnn, who despite distractions had not left off searching through her backpack, suddenly exclaimed "What did you do to this poor Meerca? He said he'd been poisoned."

"Indeed he has," Jhudora smiled cruelly. "He found my stash of Poisonous Lollypops and had himself a little party with them. Don't waste your pity on that greedy, thieving wretch."

Hollowbelly swallowed hard; he had once eaten a so-called Poisonous Lollypop himself. "But...but...those lollypops you give out aren't _really_ poisonous ... are they?"

"They are if you eat more than ten of them in one sitting!"

As if to confirm the Dark Faerie's words, the Brown Meerca let out another agonized groan.

"Wow," whispered 7_Flames, "I thought I'd never encounter anyone who was greedier than you, Hollowbelly!" The Green Lupe made a face at his Fire Wocky cousin.

"Wait a minute," Pearlbeak broke in. "If that Meerca ate a bunch of Lollypops, he must have done it before the Food Crisis occurred. Just how long have you kept him here, Jhudora?"

"Since the day before yesterday, if it's any business of yours. Some thieves plundered my cloud while I was away on business. When I returned, I found this one too ill to move, but he must have had at least one other with him, for I discovered I'd been robbed. My priceless Book of Dark Master Spells, gone!" The Dark Faerie gnashed her teeth in fury. "So I caged the one thief, and caged he shall remain until he tells me who it was that stole my precious book."

"But, Ms. Jhudora," protested BlossomAnn, "he can't possibly tell you anything when he's so sick like this." The Aisha withdrew a small vial of greenish liquid from her backpack. "This is a Magic Vial. Please, let me cure him, and then maybe we'll learn something useful from him."

Jhudora scowled nastily for a moment, then shrugged. "Fine. If you want to waste your own valuable medicine on some vermin, it's no skin off my nose. But he stays caged, understand?"

BlossomAnn poked her paw through the bars and held the uncorked vial up to the Meerca's mouth. Weakly, he swallowed the contents, choking a little at the bitter taste. Moments later he was sitting up in the cage, staring gratefully at BlossomAnn and nervously at Jhudora.

It was Pearlbeak who started the questioning. "Who are you, Meerca? What's your name?"

Though cured of poison, the Brown Meerca still looked rather uncomfortable. "I-uh, my name is, um... Fluffy112362, a-and I wandered in here by myself by accident. I didn't steal nothin' and I didn't see anybody else steal nothin' either-"

"Liar," proclaimed Jhudora, though instead of being enraged, she sounded almost happy about it. Smiling like a cat who has just found a trapped mouse, she began to tap her long green fingernails together. "I have a special way of dealing with liars and thieves. As it happens, I am in need of a test subject for my new magical creations and... experiments."

"Experiments?" quavered BlossomAnn, while the caged Meerca began to tremble and shake.

Jhudora looked positively gleeful. "Those crybabies thought my Eraser of the Dark Faerie was evil, just because it caused their precious Hypno Helmets and the like to disappear. Ha! Just wait until they see my next masterpiece - the GREATER Eraser of the Dark Faerie! A one-use item that will erase any Neopet, forever! And those fools were whining about Chia Flour. _I'll _give them something to whine about!" She threw back her head and laughed like a demoness.

* * *

**Next:** _A Tyrant in Tyrannia _


	5. A Tyrant in Tyrannia

**Part Five: A Tyrant in Tyrannia**

_This chapter is hereby dedicated to** clara200**__ for being my most dedicated reader to date. Thanks, Clara!_

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Upon hearing what Jhudora planned to do with him if he did not come clean, the caged Brown Meerca finally cracked. _"NO!!"_ he squealed, utterly terrified, "I'll talk! I'll talk! My name is Heermeedjet, and I came here with my brother, Merouladen, and we were supposed to steal that book you mentioned, but I got distracted by the lollipops and that rotten brother of mine took the book and scarpered, leaving me behind when he saw I was too sick to move..."

"Babblative little chap, once you get him going," smirked Jhudora.

"Heermeedjet and Merouladen -- where have I heard those names before?" Pearlbeak pondered the information for a moment. ""Hey, now I remember -- you're professional thieves! You and your brother were involved in that business with Coltzan's crown, weren't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, I guess everybody knows that by this time," Heermeedjet answered resignedly. "All right, I've told you what you wanted to know; how about letting me out of this cage?"

"Not so fast," replied the Silver Eyrie. "Why did you -- or rather, your brother -- steal Jhudora's Master Spell book? Who sent you to steal it? I can't believe you just wanted it for yourselves. And does the book have anything to do with this terrible Neopian Food Crisis?"

The Meerca tried to look and sound innocent. "Neopian Food Crisis? That's news to me. I've been in this cage for several days -- I have no idea what's going on in the rest of Neopia. As for the book, why me and Merou simply wanted to sell it to a rare book collector--"

Even as Heermeedjet spoke these words, Jhudora made a casual gesture and the cage rose slowly into the air about a yard. A second wave of her hand caused a kettle filled with bubbling violet sludge to appear directly beneath the cage, which began to lower itself towards it...

"Okay! OKAY! STOP! I'LL TELL THE TRUTH!" the Brown Meerca screamed just in time. The cage stopped lowering and hung suspended, an inch above the steaming purple glop.

"This had better be good," grumbled 7 Flames, the Fire Wocky.

"Me and my brother -- we didn't want to steal the book, but Malkus Vile made us do it! He was still sore over the whole Coltzan's crown affair, and he threatened to boil us alive and eat us both with mint sauce if we didn't do what he said! We didn't know he was going to cause a food crisis. All we knew was that he wanted revenge on Neopia for his earlier humiliation."

"Malkus Vile..." BlossomAnn contemplated softly. "A Skeith ... of course! Now it makes sense. We've all been fools not to realize it sooner. Even a wicked Witch and a Dark Faerie has to eat regular food sometime. The only two creatures in Neopia who wouldn't be affected by the Neopian Food Crisis are Grarrls and Skeiths -- they can eat anything, even rocks!"

"And old Malkus with an axe to grind," murmured Pearlbeak. "Mean and evil enough to resort to using Dark Magic for the sake of revenge ... unless he himself is in the employ of another..."

Heermeedjet shrugged. "He might be, but it's his best-guarded secret if he is."

Hollowbelly, who had remained silent up to this point, felt his namesake rumble painfully. "Are we through talking?" he whined, anxious to be on their way. "Where is Malkus Vile now?"

"He's hiding up in the old Volcano region of Tyrannia," the Brown Meerca blurted out before he could think better of it. Hastily, he added, "But you'll never find him without my help. Let me out of this cage, and I'll be your guide and take you straight to him!"

"And straight into a trap, I'd wager," growled 7 Flames, lashing his tail. "No thanks, I'm sure we'll manage to get along very nicely without your 'help.'"

"Besides, if you think I'm going to let you get off scot-free, you little thief," Jhudora snarled, "you've got another thing coming. Until I get my book back, you're staying here with me!"

At this, the miserable Meerca howled and pleaded, but his cries fell on deaf ears, though BlossomAnn still looked uncomfortable. "Please, Jhudora -- we'll bring your book back to you if we find it -- but please promise that you won't do anything terrible to him before we return."

The Dark Faerie fixed her cold, deep purple eyes on the Aisha. "Even if I did make a promise like that, you're a fool if you think for a minute that I would not gladly break it. Who do you think you're dealing with, anyway -- that goody-twoshoes Illusen? You're lucky I'm going to allow the four of you to leave here unharmed, and only because (much as I hate to admit it) you were right when you said that even a Dark Faerie has to eat. And I'm _starving! _So hurry up and end this infernal Food Crisis, before I decide to turn the lot of you into a buffet table!"

Nobody argued with this, except Heermeedjet, who wailed, _"DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THIS MADWOMAN!"_ as Pearlbeak, Hollowbelly, 7 Flames and BlossomAnn all beat a hasty retreat back into the transporter booth that sent them back to Faerieland proper.

"Poor Heermee," the Yellow Aisha shook her head as they exited the booth. "I do hope Jhudora wasn't serious about the Greater Eraser of the Dark Faerie thing. It sounded horrible."

"Ahh, she's just an old windbag," muttered 7 Flames, once he was certain that they were well away from Jhudora's cloud and beyond the Dark Faerie's hearing range. "I don't believe she'll ever create any such thing -- she was just saying that to scare us and to terrify the Meerca into confessing."

"Hey, where's Hollowbelly?" Pearlbeak asked suddenly, glancing about for the Green Lupe.

"Here I am," he called from behind, still in the transporter booth. "Look at what got transported along with us!" He held up a small jar containing some violet goo in a green liquid.

"That's a Purple Blob Potion," the Eyrie informed him. "Nasty stuff, but quite useful in a battle."

Hollowbelly looked disappointed. "You mean it's not edible, then?"

"Not unless you enjoy the sensation of having your stomach explode."

The Lupe did not want his find upon hearing this, whereupon BlossomAnn tucked it into her own backpack. _I hope I never have to use it,_ she thought to herself.

"All right then!" The Silver Eyrie led the way to the main Faerieland transporter booth, which thankfully was not far away. "On to Tyrannia! I have a hunch this is going to be our final stop."

"I wish you had said that some other way," 7 Flames groaned.

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The transport booths of Tyrannia blended in with the jurassic landscape by looking like nothing more than large blocks of stone with a cavelike entrance on one side. Inside them, of course, one would find the same set of control buttons as were common to all the other teleportation booths of Neopia. The main difference was that you couldn't see out of the Tyrannian ones.

Always a fairly harsh world even before the Great Neopian Food Crisis, the prehistoric land of Tyrannia had recently become downright savage. Of all the food items that had come to life, the Tyrannian Foods were by far the most dangerous. They had the largest teeth, the strongest jaws, the sharpest spikes and the worst tempers. However, they were not the only ones.

Unlike most of the NeoPets in other parts of Neopia, the Tyrannian NeoPets had responded to the Food Crisis by becoming as ferocious as the foods themselves. Armed with clubs, rocks, Stone Fire Body Bashers and other Tyrannian Weaponry, the inhabitants of Tyrannia fought back and gave as good as they got. As a result, the Tyrannian Plateau looked like one big battlefield, with mangled food and wounded NeoPets scattered in every direction as far as the eye could see. Such was the sight that greeted our heroes when they arrived in Tyrannia.

Poor, kindhearted BlossomAnn was nearly beside herself; she wanted to help the suffering creatures, but didn't know where to begin. She ran towards a battered Tyrannian Quiggle, but a moan of pain from a nearby saber-toothed Kougra sent her rushing to aid it instead.

"Forget it, cousin," Pearlbeak called sadly. "You can't ... _we_ can't possibly tend to them all. The best thing we can do is try to complete our mission as quickly as possible, get things back to normal -- and then maybe we can send for a team of nurses to come here and--" She broke off speaking with a gasp of dismay.

"ANN!" yelped Hollowbelly springing forward, "HEADS UP! YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

BlossomAnn looked up just in time to see the flock of Phtlygon Wings bearing down upon her. How they could fly when each was a single, disembodied wing was a mystery that was never to be solved. Reacting instictively, the Aisha reached into her backpack, pulled out the first thing her paw closed around and with all her might she flung it into the thick of her attackers.

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Shreds of Phtlygon flesh and bits of bone rained down from the sky for a quarter of a mile.

"Wow," breathed 7 Flames when the grisly debris had stopped falling. "You weren't kidding about that Purple Blob Potion, Sis! That's a pretty wicked weapon!"

"You okay, BlossomAnn?" Hollowbelly asked worriedly.

The Yellow Aisha nodded, despite the fact that she was trembling in every limb. "I'm -- fine. Which -- which way is it to get to the Volcano? Why didn't we simply go straight there?"

Pearlbeak looked grim. "Unfortunately, we can't just teleport there anymore. The Tyrannian Town Council decided it was too dangerous an area, blocked off the main passage that led there and and removed the option to go there from all of the teleport booths."

"Blocked off the _main _passage?" repeated 7 Flames. "But if that Malkus Vile is hiding up there with his supporters, then there's gotta be some other way to get to the Volcano, right?"

"Correct. And I know of one passage that wasn't sealed up the last time I was here..."

The Eyrie led the way to Kacheeker's Cave. Unlike in Faerieland, where the various shops and gaming houses were shut down and locked up due to the food crisis, the places of business in Tyrannia still had their doors wide open. Of course, since these establishments were located in caves, they had no doors to shut. What they were, however, was abandoned. Apparently nobody felt much like playing games of skill or chance when there was a war to be fought.

Inside the cave, stone checker pieces were scattered about like so many flat pebbles. The two Tyrannian Kacheeks who usually supervised the games were nowhere to be seen. Pearlbeak shoved aside several of the overturned stone tables until she had uncovered what she was looking for. "Here it is," she cried, pointing to a small tunnel that led into darkness.

The stone passage was so low and narrow that they had to pass through it in single file, with their stomachs almost rubbing the ground. "I guess it's a good thing we've none of us had much to eat lately, or else we might get stuck!" grunted Hollowbelly as he crept forward on all fours.

"I dunno about the rest of us, but I'm sure _you _would, anyway," came the Fire Wocky's teasing voice right behind the Lupe. With a growl, Hollowbelly flipped his tail in his cousin's face.

"Ow! Watch it, Hollowhead, or I'll set your tail on fire!"

"Now boys," BlossomAnn called from the back of the line. "You behave!"

"QUIET BACK THERE!" the Eyrie squawked at the front of the line.

At last they reached the tunnel's exit, each one stretching with relief in turn as they came back out into the open. The ground beneath their paws was much warmer than the Tyrannian Plateau, and the very air seemed to shimmer with heat and the smell of sulphur.

"I've only been here once before," Pearlbeak explained. "I had just finished playing a round of Kacheekers, and I discovered that tunnel by accident. That's how I found Magnus the Torch."

"Who's that?" Hollowbelly and BlossomAnn asked at the same time.

"A Tyrannian Scorchio who likes to battle. He challenged me to fight him in the Battledome, and I plan to take him up on it one day. He seemed pretty tough; I hope I can beat him."

"Yes," a gruff, new voice intoned above their heads. "But you'll have to beat_ me_ first!"

They all jumped and looked up to behold a great, olive-green Tyrannian Lupe with enormous tusks curling on either side of his jaw. No doubt about it; it was Sabre-X himself! He was perched on a shelf of rock that overhung the tunnel they had just exited, and he did not look at all pleased. "How did you find your way this far north?!!?" he growled. "You shouldn't have ventured past the Plateau... there are dangerous things to be found up here! Go back now!"

"Oh, and I suppose what's roaming the Plateau and the Tyrannian Jungle -- to say nothing of the rest of Neopia -- is tame and harmless in comparison?" sneered the ever-defiant 7 Flames.

"With all due respect, sir," replied the Eyrie (after giving her brother another warning glance), "we've come up here because we have reason to believe that the cause of the Great Neopian Food Crisis is somewhere here in the Volcano region. As a Defender of Neopia, I have come with my brother and cousins to try and put an end to this terrible crisis." Pearlbeak went on to relate how they had learned from Heermeedjet the Brown Meerca that the villainous Skeith Malkus Vile was up to his old tricks, and that his new hideout was in or near the old Volcano.

Sabre-X listened solemnly. "This is important news," he nodded after Pearlbeak was finished. "I will definitely convey this information to the Council of Elders. However, I'm afraid I cannot permit youngsters such as the four of you to place yourselves in such danger. Your job is done; you did well to inform me of Malkus Vile, but my Tyrannian Army and I will take over from here."

"But sir--" Pearlbeak started to protest, but Sabre-X shook his head to silence her.

"No 'buts.' I'm sorry, but I have enough troubles what with the Omelette still gone missing and the Food Items running riot without having to worry about a quartet of heroic wanna-bees--"

"HERE THEY COME AGAIN!!" screeched BlossomAnn.

Pouring down the side of the mountain and heading straight for Sabre-X and the others was a veritable avalanche of Tyrannian Food--sharp clawed Crabletts, fierce-fanged Dino Snappers, Primordial Things waving their tendrils menacingly, Spore Blossoms spraying noxious powder into the air, Farn Plants, Ransaurus Steaks and more were launching a wild, all-out attack.

Even as they were bracing themselves for the assault, Sabre-X jumped in front of the others and barked, "You four get out of here! Do what you need to do. I'll hold this rabble off."

Hollowbelly was aghast. "Sir, we can't just leave you to--"

"BEGONE!" roared the larger Lupe as he leaped to engage a huge Gargaraptor Arm in combat. His voice carried such authority that the four of them fled. Pearlbeak, however, did not run back into the tunnel leading to the Plateau, but instead ran deeper into the volcanic region, and the other three followed. Behind them they could hear the terrible growls and snarls of the murderous Food Items, and Sabre-X cursing in Tyrannian as he valiantly fought them all.

But the legendary Lupe could not hold every single item back, and an assortment of Tyrannian Food managed to break past him and bounced in pursuit of the others. A desperate chase was on, and when they reached the base of the Volcano, where an unclimbable wall of solidified lava rose up to bar their way, there was no choice but to turn and prepare to fight to the death.

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_**Coming Up Next: Vile Volcano.** Is anybody reading this other than _clara200_? If so, who are you? Don't be shy! (grin) _


	6. Vile Volcano

**Part Six: _Vile Volcano_**

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With their backs quite literally up against a wall, there was nothing that our heroes could do except turn and face their attackers -- the bewitched, ferocious Tyrannian Food -- and prepare to sell their lives as dearly as possible. Hollowbelly rubbed his Lupe Moon charm once for luck, thinking sadly of his siblings Miss Claus and Jonah, and wondering if they would ever find out what had happened to his two cousins, his sister and himself. Their mission had failed.

Pearlbeak the Silver Eyrie placed herself before the other three, clutching her Attack Fork in both forepaws. Against such a savage mob, it seemed a pitifully inadequate weapon. That huge Raptraphant Leg which was even now stomping its way forward to trample them would probably not even feel the flame. It was hopeless, yet she was determined to go down fighting.

Then, what seemed like a miracle happened. Twelve feet from reaching the four NeoPets, the Tyrannian Food came to a dead stop, their wild stampede checked as though they had struck some sort of invisible barrier. Even the Raptraphant Leg halted in its track.

For a long moment, nobody moved or said anything. Finally, 7 Flames the Fire Wocky could not stand the tension any longer and squalled, "Well, what are you waiting for? Get on with it!"

"Uggah!" answered a knobby Blood Mole Plant. "Ugga-uggah! Yaggah-oombah-giyay!"

"We don't speak Tyrannian, creepface."

After a few more exchanges of taunts that neither side were capable of comprehending, the Tyrannian Food items began to turn back the way they had come. Within moments, the four companions stood alone at the base of the Volcano, still clutching their Battledome weapons.

Hollowbelly spoke first. "What do you suppose caused them to stop attacking us?"

"I think I can guess," replied Pearlbeak. "Whoever cast the spell that brought all the Food Items to life must have also cast a protective circle of Magick around their hideout -- in this case the Volcano -- in order to keep the vicious food from turning on them. The spell allows NeoPets to pass through it, but not the Living Food. This proves we must be near our goal."

They began to walk around the base of the Volcano, searching for any sign of an opening. While they were doing this, Hollowbelly noticed that his sister, BlossomAnn, looked troubled.

"What's the matter, Blossom?" asked the Green Lupe.

All four ears drooping, the Aisha replied, "It's Sabre-X. I can't stop thinking about him. He saved our lives by holding the Tyrannian Food back long enough for us to reach this zone of safety. But... but what about _him?_ What if the food overwhelmed him and he got... got..."

"Not Sabre-X," Hollowbelly answered hastily. "I'm sure he escaped, or maybe his army caught up with him and helped to fight them off. Or...or _something."_ He did not want to admit that he, too, feared the worst for the poor, brave Tyrannian Lupe. He also remembered that while at first Sabre-X had told them to go back to the Plateau, one of the last things he had said had been "Do what you need to do." Hollowbelly hoped that they were doing the right thing now.

They skirted the base of the Volcano for nearly a quarter of an hour before Pearlbeak motioned for the others to stop and to keep still. The Eyrie's eagle-eyes had spotted a pair of hulking blue Grarrls standing like sentinels before what appeared to be a cleft in the rocky wall. Both Grarrls were armed with Million Degree Swords, their flamelike blades gleaming in the sun.

She glanced back at the others. Three pairs of eyes all silently asked the same question: _How are we going to get past them?_ Though they outnumbered the Grarrls four to two, Pearlbeak doubted that they could subdue the guards in a fight -- not without one or more of them getting seriously hurt in the process. Grarrls were one of the most powerful NeoPets in existance, and were dangerous even when they were not armed with Million Degree Swords.

No, the Eyrie realized, brute force was not the answer. Could the Grarrls be tricked? She began to search through her backpack, hoping to find some inspiration. There was her beautiful Emerald Eyrie Shield -- could they bribe the guards with it? It was risky, for what if the Grarrls refused to be bribed, or took the bribe and then raised the alarm anyway? Pearbeak hated the thought of losing the shield at any rate, for it had served her well in many a Battledome match.

Her paw brushed against something warm in the pack, and she drew it out. Then she smiled. It was the jar of Fire Snow that the Esophagor had given them. Turing her gaze back toward the two Grarrls, she saw that they, obviously bored, were starting to play Mumblety Peg with their Million Degree Swords. Each time one of the fiery blades struck the ground, a burst of sparks flew up from it. Pearlbeak's smile grew wider. _Yes,_ she thought,_ it just might work!_

Opening the jar carefully, she shook a tiny bit of Fire Snow onto the tip of her Emerald Eyrie Shield, where it lay like a glowing ember. The next time one of the Grarrls tossed his sword into the air, Pearlbeak took careful aim, flipped the shield, and sent the blazing bit of ice flying.

"OW!" bellowed the second Grarrl, rubbing the side of his neck. "Watch how you toss that thing, Snaffle! I just caught a spark that really stung!"

"Well, stand further back then," retorted Snaffle, the other guard as he yanked his sword out of the ground and prepared to toss it again. "I swear, you're such a baby, Gloff."

"Who're you calling a baby?!" Gloff snarled just as Snaffle once more flipped his sword and Pearlbeak sent another chunk of Fire Snow sailing straight at Gloff's forehead this time.

Snaffle's blade struck the stony ground accompanied by the usual fountain of sparks and another roar of rage and pain from Gloff. "CUT IT OUT, SNAFFLE, OR I'LL BELT YOU!!"

With a look of utter disgust, Snaffle glared at his associate. "All right, you big baby -- it's your turn anyway. You toss, and I'll show you a real He-Grarrl who's not afraid of sparks."

Gloff's eyes were fairly smoking, particularly when Snaffle called him a baby for the second time. Nevertheless, he whipped out his own Million Degree Sword, suppressed the urge to stab Snaffle with it, and flipped it into the air. And Pearlbeak knew just what to do...

_ "EEYOWIEE!!!"_ screamed Snaffle, clutching his face. "My nose! My nose! You did that on purpose! I'm gonna murder you!!" Gloff was only too happy to meet Snaffle's charge, and the two Grarrls grappled and scuffled wildly in the dirt, their weapons forgotten.

"It's now or never," the Eyrie whispered to her brother and cousins. "Let's go!"

The four NeoPets dashed towards the now-unguarded cleft, what little noise made by their scampering paws masked by the grunts, howls and curses of the two battling Grarrls. Once inside, they found themselves in a veritable labyrinth of solidified lava, with passages and corridors leading in every direction. Flickering torches mounted on the walls offered a dim light.

"Okay, we've made it this far," commented 7 Flames. "Now what do we do?"

"We try to find Malkus Vile," Pearlbeak replied. "Heermeedjet the Meerca said he was here."

Hollowbelly snuffled the ground. "I smell...Grarrl...and Skeith. Don't know if it's Malkus I smell, but it's definitely Skeith. I think I can follow the trail, if that's what you want me to do."

Pearlbeak nodded. "There's no other choice. Track away, cousin. You're the leader now."

Through the winding, twisting maze of hardened lava they trekked, the Green Lupe leading with his nose to the pumice floor. Sometimes they heard the footsteps of others and were forced to hide in rocky crevasses -- luckily the cavern was filled with them -- until the danger was past. Once a whole troop of Grarrl guards marched right past them without being aware of their presence (Grarrls fortunately have an extremely poor sense of smell).

Other times they passed open pools of hot, bubbling lava, and they found the heat to be almost unbearable (all except for 7 Flames the Fire Wocky, of course). Hollowbelly especially suffered when they encountered these pools, for the stench of sulphur emanating from them at such close quarters made him want to pass out. At such times his sister BlossomAnn would come near and offer encouragement, and the Lupe would find the strength to carry on.

It was after they had made their way past one particularly large and noxious lava pool that Hollowbelly, his senses still reeling, blundered his way into a dead end. This would not have been such a bad thing, but when the group turned around to retrace their steps, they all heard, to their horror, the sound of low, muttering voices approaching them:

"...I tell you, Scarstie, I saw something moving over here, and it wasn't a Skeith or a Grarrl. It wasn't that little rat, Merouladen, either. This was fairly big -- and it shone like silver..."

Pearlbeak swallowed hard as the other three reflexively stared at her. For the first time in her life, the Eyrie regretted having won a Silver Paint Brush from the Lost Desert Fruit Machine. At least her original blue coloring would have been less conspicuous in a dimly lit area such as this.

Closer came the voices: "I think it went into that side gallery over there, whatever it was"

"Well, in that case, it's trapped. That passage never got finished, and it leads nowhere."

"Let's go see, but be on your guard, just in case. Weapons at the ready, both of you."

Closer came the footfalls; the searchers were almost there. Though squeezed into a crevasse, all four NeoPets knew that this time they would not be overlooked. Hollowbelly could feel BlossomAnn's body pressed tightly against his own, quivering with terror. What could they do?

"Do exactly what I do!" Pearlbeak hissed just before she leaped out of the hiding place. And then, in plain sight of their enemies (which happened to be a Skeith and two more Grarrls), the Eyrie began scratching at the ground with a forepaw, pecking at where she scratched, and clucking like a chicken. "Buck-buck-buck," she cackled. "Buck-buck-bucKAW!"

7 Flames gaped at his sister, thinking she had gone completely mad. BlossomAnn and Hollowbelly had jumped out of hiding, expecting that Pearlbeak was going to launch an attack or a feint or something. For a fraction of a second, they too stared in disbelief at the Eyrie's bizarre choice of action. But, remembering her orders, first the Aisha and then the Lupe began scratching, pecking and clucking. "BRAWK-buck-buck-buck-BRAWK!" they squawked.

"What the Pant Devil...??" grunted the Skeith (whose name was Scarstie).

"They're all plumb loco!" cried one of the Grarrls.

"No," the other Grarrl gasped, suddenly apprehensive. "They're not loco -- they're_ sick!_ They've all got Chickaroo! I've seen it before. It's a disease, and it's highly contagious!"

The first Grarrl scratched his head. "Kun-tayjis? Whazzat mean, bro?"

"It means if we hang around here too long, we'll catch it too, stupid!"

At that moment, 7 Flames (who had finally caught on), sprang out of the back of the cave, bounded up to the Skeith and Grarrls, stood on his hind legs, puffed out his chest, flapped his arms like wings and crowed, "COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOO!!!"

What followed was a mad scramble of Grarrls and Skeith tripping and tumbling all over each other in their haste to get away. The Grarrls were simply terrified, but Scarstie the Skeith was enraged, "Come back here, you cowards! Help me block up that gallery! We can't allow those infected Pets to roam around loose in here! Get ba..." the voice faded into the distance.

"Well, so much for the stealthy approach," sighed Pearlbeak as they exited the dead-end passage. "Now they know we're here, and we still haven't found Malkus Vile yet."

"Yeah, they know we're here, but so what?" the Fire Wocky shrugged, grinning. "If anybody else tries to stop us, I'll just crow at them! That'll send em packing in a hurry!"

"Unless they decide to just shoot us from a distance to put us out of our misery -- and theirs," his sister replied, and the grin abruptly vanished from 7 Flames's face.

"Hollowbelly," called BlossomAnn, suddenly alarmed, "Brother, where are you going?"

The Green Lupe had put his nose back to work, trying to pick up the scent of Skeith which he hoped would lead them to Malkus Vile. In the middle of a good snuffle, he had suddenly caught wind of something that made him forget about all else -- the smell of warm, cooking FOOD! Hollowbelly's eyes seemed to glaze over as he blindly began to follow the tantalizing aroma. His namesake urged him on; the pathetic rumblings of his stomach, more empty now than he could ever remember it being before, seemed to be crying: _Find it! Find the source!_

The other three, thinking that Hollowbelly had resumed tracking Malkus Vile, followed him without further question. Before long, the odor of cooked food that the Lupe had detected first became apparent to the rest of them, and like him, they suddenly realized that they were all starving. The Food Crisis was taking its toll, and if they did not have something to eat soon...

Up a sloping passageway the four famished NeoPets ambled, mesmerized by the delectable and strangely familiar food scent that led them ever onward, like rats following the Pied Piper. At last the narrow passage opened out into an enormous cavern, far bigger than any they had encountered thus far. Their path ended abruptly at a sort of cliff overlooking the mammoth cavern below. Another, larger opening that appeared to be partially blocked was located on the far side of the cavern. And filling most of the cavern itself was a gigantic, steaming mass.

"The Omelette," whispered Pearlbeak. "It's here."

Its surface slowly rippling and pulsating like some hideous, mutated heart, the Giant Omelette lay spread out before them, well out of reach from where the four NeoPets stood on the lip of the chasm that contained it. Yet in spite of their starved conditions, none of them, not even Hollowbelly, had the desire to jump down and take a bite of it. Enchantment or no, the thing looked alive,_ seemed_ alive, a dormant monster that would destroy the world if they roused it.

"Impressive, is it not?" a deep, gloating voice intoned at their backs.

_ Not again!_ Pearlbeak mentally groaned. _Why do people always sneak up behind us?_

Malkus Vile, the cruelest representative of a notoriously cruel species, stood blocking the passageway they had just come up, a host of Grarrls and other Skeiths flanking him. Peeking out from behind Malkus's tail was a Brown Meerca, leering nastily at the companions. _That must be Merouladen,_ thought BlossomAnn. _I wonder if he'd look so smug if he knew his brother Heermeedjet was being tortured by Jhudora because he stole her spellbook?_

"What's the matter?" Malkus inquired, his voice and eyes filled with mock sympathy. "Gathow got your tongue? Or perhaps you're just too_... hungry..._ to answer my question. No matter. And don't think for one minute that I'm stupid enough to fall for your fake sickness routine." The Skeith gestured to his underlings. "Take them." he ordered casually, almost disinterestedly.

With even less hope than they had possessed when the Tyrannian Food had cornered them at the base of the Volcano, our four heroes nevertheless tried to put up a fight, with dismal results:

BlossomAnn's Web Claw was swatted from her paw before she could use it by a Skeith who then wrapped the Aisha in his strong arms so that she could barely move. Hollowbelly leaped to protect his sister but was caught by the scruff of his neck by a Grarrl who shook the Lupe violently until he nearly lost his senses. 7 Flames spat fire and brimstone at their enemies, but they just laughed at him, for all of them were outfitted with Mega Fire Shields. One of them took aim and flung a Water Muffin at the Fire Wocky, and 7 Flames went down for the count.

It took two fully-grown Grarrls to restrain Pearlbeak, who had launched herself at Malkus Vile the instant he had ordered their capture. Even after her Attack Fork had been wrenched out of her paws, the Silver Eyrie continued to battle valiantly with beak and claw, leaving scratches that would later form permanent scars on the two Grarrls, until a third one came up with a club and without mercy began beating Pearlbeak over the head until the fight finally left her.

"Are we quite finished?" yawned Malkus Vile once the violence had ceased. "I suppose you think that now that I have you in my power, I'm going to tell you my Master Plan, why I'm doing it and how I got this far with it. Well, tough Tigersquash, children -- I personally don't care if you die without ever finding out any of those things. Because that's exactly what's going to happen!"

"Don't... don't we even get a last request?" a dizzy Hollowbelly managed to gasp out.

"Nope," the Skeith replied cheerfully as he waved four sword-wielding guards to his side.

"Please..." the Green Lupe panted in desperation, even as the Grarrls were advancing on the four of them with their Million Degree Swords. "I'm so... so very, very hungry. Give me something... anything... to eat, so that at least I can... die... with a full stomach. Please? _Please!"_

A deliciously wicked and cruel idea entered Malkus's evil mind. "Very well, since you asked me so politely..." He nodded to the Grarrl holding Hollowbelly. "Throw him to the Omelette!"

"NOOOOOOO!!!" screamed a horrified 7 Flames, Pearlbeak and BlossomAnn as the hapless Lupe was whirled and tossed like a broken plushie off the edge of the cliff, turning end over end in midair as he plunged down, down, down towards the waiting, seething monstrosity below.

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**Coming Up Next: _Omelegeddon!  
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	7. Omelegeddon!

**Part Seven: _Omelegeddon!_**

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"Hollowbelly!" wailed 7 Flames.

"Cousin!" Pearlbeak screamed.

"BROTHER!!" shrilled BlossomAnn, writhing in her captor's grip.

They all watched helplessly as Hollowbelly the Green Lupe was flung unceremoniously off the edge of the precipice, at the bottom of which lurked a horror: the Giant Omelette of Tyrannia, transformed by sorcery into a living, breathing organism. Hollowbelly's plummeting body struck the surface of it with a hideous squelching sound -- and kept on going, leaving a vaguely Lupe-shaped hole in its wake. As the spectators on the ledge above crowded forward to observe, the hole slowly began to shrink, filling itself in until the eggy surface was once more undisturbed.

Hollowbelly was gone.

"Well, that was quite entertaining," smirked Malkus Vile. "The Eater is now the Eaten. Who's next?"

"RRRAUGHHHH!!!" The cry came from Pearlbeak. Though battered to within an inch of her life, the Eyrie had taken advantage of the distraction to reach into her backpack unnoticed and remove a Bronze Scorchstone, which she quickly invoked. As strength flowed back into her aching limbs, she broke free of the two Grarrls who tried to subdue her and with a tremendous blow, sent one of them spinning straight into Malkus Vile himself. The impact left them both teetering at the edge of the cliff. Bawling with terror, the Grarrl clutched at his leader in a panic.

"Let go of me, you idiot!" Malkus snarled, kicking his underling, who lost his grip and fell shrieking into the Omelette-filled abyss. Malkus likewise went over, but being a Skeith, he quickly spread his batlike wings and with an effort managed to flap his way back to the ledge.

"Kill her!" he roared, pointing to the battle-frenzied Pearlbeak. "Kill them all!!"

At this, the normally gentle BlossomAnn sank her teeth into the arm of the Skeith holding her. She continued to bite down even after he started yowling, until she was violently flung from him, landing quite unintentionally in the face of another Grarrl, who was just about to slash Pearlbeak with his Million Degree Sword. With a faceful of furiously clawing Aisha, the Grarrl fell back.

7 Flames, still soggy from having been pasted by a Water Muffin, followed his sister's lead and managed to activate his own Bronze Scorchstone in the middle of the ongoing chaos. Seconds later, the Fire Wocky was revitalized and giving hot-foots to any enemy who came near him.

Down in the bottom of the cavern, the Omelette began to heave and toss like a stormy sea.

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It was both a nightmare and a dream come true. Hollowbelly was surrounded on all sides, including above and below, by food. Not just any food, but one of his favorite foods in all of Neopia: omelette. Unfortunately, he was engulfed by so much steaming hot omelette that there was little room for air. And the Green Lupe liked to breathe even more than he liked to eat!

He opened his mouth, and it was immediately filled with omelette. Instinctively, he chewed and swallowed, tasting carrot and pea mixed in with the eggy substance. Delicious. He took another mouthful. Sausage and Pepperoni this time. Even better. Jaws working like a mechanical beast, Hollowbelly tore, gulped and smacked repeatedly, every bite a different flavor. Bacon and Broccoli. Barbecue Sauce. Cheese. He even tasted Tomato and Pepper at one point, which was a variety he had never been able to obtain before. And Sabre-X was not there to prevent his gluttony. _Poor Sabre-X!_ thought Hollowbelly. _No wonder he was so protective of the Giant Omelette. This is truly a wonderful thing... only I can't... breathe._

As his consciousness began to succumb to the heat and lack of air, the Lupe's final thought was an ironic one: _Got to . . . hand it to Malkus Vile. I asked him if . . . I could die with . . . a full stomach . . . and by golly . . . he really did . . . grant . . . my . . . wish . . . . . . ._

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Up the sloping tunnel that led to the cavern of the Giant Omelette raced a young Grarrl scout, panting from the exertion. When he reached the top, he began shoving his way past the other guards crowding the ledge, shouting, "Mr. Malkus Vile, sir! There's been a breach of security!"

"Tell me something I don't know, you young fool," the Yellow Skeith sneered. "Fortunately, we've caught the interlopers, and they're being disposed of as we speak, no thanks to you."

The scout shook his head earnestly. "No sir, you don't understand. The Tyrannian Army--"

That was as far as he got before a thunderous crash on the far side of the cavern interrupted him. The wooden barricade that blocked the large opening to the outside of the Volcano was smashed into splinters as a howling mob of Tyrannian NeoPets, led by the great Battle Master Grarrg himself, destroyed it with clubs, spears and their hurtling bodies. Immediately, the living Giant Omelette began to slither through the breach, where it was promptly set upon by the soldiers, all of them starving to the point of insanity. They swarmed all over the Omelette, hacking off chunks with their weapons and gobbling them down as fast as they could.

_"NO!"_ Malkus Vile fairly danced with rage. "The Omelette isn't supposed to be released yet! It's too soon! A few more hours and it would have been ready! Stop! Stop eating it, I say!!"

The other Skeiths and Grarrls stared at their leader bewilderedly. "What do we do now, sir?"

"GET DOWN THERE AND STOP THOSE FOOLS, YOU IMBECILES!"

On either side of the ledge overlooking the Omelette cavern, a set of steps had been carved into the hardened lava walls. Down these steps the guards streamed, albeit reluctantly, for they were all still rather frightened of getting so close to the Giant Omelette, which was now churning and shuddering in response to the assault by the Tyrannian Army. Great waves of cooked egg and condiments rose up to engulf friend and foe alike. But the famished Tyrannian Army had an advantage over the minions of Vile, for their hunger overcame their fear of the Giant Omelette.

Among the many NeoPets that came charging in through the sundered opening in the Volcano wall was a familiar olive-green Tyrannian Lupe, a bit bruised and bandaged, but still full of fight. Though Sabre-X could not help wincing a little when he saw how his beloved Omelette was being ravaged, he knew that it had to be done. "Vile!" he barked when he caught sight of the Skeith on the ledge above him. "Your foul scheme has failed. Give yourself up, or face my wrath!"

"Never!" Malkus Vile snapped back. "You may have wrecked my Secret Weapon, but you'll never rid yourselves of my curse upon you! The Great Neopian Food Crisis will last forever!"

With these words, Malkus pulled an ebony-bound book from his vest and waved it teasingly at Sabre-X, long enough for the latter to read its silver-lettered title: _Dark Master Spells._ "This is the only thing that can end the crisis, and you're not getting it!" He leaned over the edge and let the book drop straight down towards one of the bubbling lava pools that heated the cavern.

"Mwuhahahaha, you stupid Lupe! Learn to eat Volcanic Rocks like a Grarrl or a Skeith!"

As the book upon which the fate of Neopia depended plunged to destruction, a streak like liquid quicksilver shot down and intercepted it a hair's breadth from touching the burning magma. Pearlbeak, her wings torn but still functional, soared upwards, the book in her paws.

Malkus Vile's roar of anguish and fury almost caused the Volcano to cave in. Almost.

The Giant Omelette was rapidly diminishing, its movements slowing down as the great mass of food "died" and thus became free of enchantment. As the Tyrannian NeoPets' hunger was sated, they turned their attention towards Malkus and his followers. "Sieze those renegades!" shouted Grarrg, who was himself a Grarrl and felt a strong need to punish the ones whom he considered to be a disgrace to his species. "Take them prisoner! Let none escape!"

With a final oath that cannot be repeated here, Malkus Vile turned to flee down the tunnel back into the volcanic labyrinth, intending to lose his pursuers there. Just as he started to do this, a small fireball struck the Skeith right above where his tail joined to his body, causing him to shriek

"_That's_ for what you did to Hollowbelly!" hissed 7 Flames, the Fire Wocky.

Despite his burn, Malkus did not stop but continued to bolt down the passage. 7 Flames began to give chase, but hesitated when he saw a small shadow trying to skulk away surreptitiously. The Wocky pounced -- and grinned when he saw that he had caught Merouladen the Meerca.

"Mercy! I'm innocent!" squealed the rodent-like NeoPet. "I had nothing to do with it, I swear!"

_Meercas are all alike_ 7 Flames thought with disgust. "Yeah, your brother said the same thing -- at first. Shame Jhudora had to torture him before he would confess that you stole her book."

Realizing that the jig was up, Merou babbled, "Malkus made us do it! He said if we didn't--"

"--he'd boil you alive and eat you with mint sauce, I know. And frankly, that doesn't sound like a bad idea, after all that we've been through. I've lost a cousin, thanks to you and Malkus!"

Pearlbeak landed back on the ledge, folding her ragged wings. "Well done, brother. We'll take both the book and the Meerca back to Jhudora. What happened to BlossomAnn?"

"I think I saw her running down the steps to the bottom of the cavern," 7 Flames replied slowly. "You think she was maybe ... you know ... trying to dig out poor old Hollowbelly?"

Peering over the edge, the Eyrie caught her breath at what lay below. The Omelette was nearly all gone now. Malkus Vile's followers, finding themselves leaderless and outnumbered, gave themselves up after only a token resistance and were being taken into custody by Battle Master Grarrg and his elite troops. But Pearlbeak noticed none of this; she only saw the stilled form of a Green Lupe lying on the floor of the cavern, with a Yellow Aisha trying to lift his head and crying like a Baby NeoPet. Approaching them was Sabre-X, his head bowed respectfully.

"I am sorry," the legendary Tyrannian Lupe began in a low voice. "I had hoped to avoid this sort of thing when I told you four to go back to the Plateau. Yet, had you obeyed me, the Book you told me about would have been lost, and with it all hopes of ending the Food Crisis. He was your brother? His name shall be remembered, with honor. Er ... what was his name?"

"Huh...Hollowbelly..." BlossomAnn managed to get out through her tears.

Sabre-X cocked a battle-torn ear. "An unusual name for a hero. Nevertheless--" He lowered his head to touch his nose to Hollowbelly's, performing an ancient Lupe rite done to honor the dead. His eyes suddenly widened and he jerked his head back as though stung. "Tekel!" he woofed to a Tyrannian Techo who was tending to the wounded. "Tekel, come here quickly!"

"What--?" gasped BlossomAnn, hardly daring to hope.

The aged Potion Master came hobbling up, leaning heavily on his staff. "This had better be important, Sabre. I've got literally dozens of casualties in this blasted cavern to attend to."

"They can wait, Tekel. I know this one looks dead, but I felt a breath in his nostrils just now."

Hearing this, Pearlbeak leaped from the ledge and sailed down on tattered wings to land near her cousins. 7 Flames whooped _"YESSSS!!!"_ and began swinging the wretched Merouladen around by his tail as though the Meerca were a victory flag. "He's alive! ALIVE! Bwa-ha-ha!"

"Lemmee gooooooooooooooo!" squeaked Merouladen, but nobody paid any attention.

Gently, the Techo elder pried Hollowbelly's mouth open and administered a Pale Elixir, drop by drop, until the Lupe's swallowing reflex activated. Still unconscious, Hollowbelly coughed. Then he hiccupped. Then he BURRRPED! And with that tremendous belch, he finally woke.

The first thing Hollowbelly became aware of was the sound of laughter and tears mingled together. Faces crowded him, swimming in a blurry haze when he opened his eyes. Dimly, he recognized the shining countenance of his cousin Pearlbeak, and the tusked jaw of Sabre-X, set in a wide grin. He could not see his sister, BlossomAnn, but this was only because she had her face buried in the fur at his neck as she hugged him. It was she who was laughing and crying.

7 Flames came bounding down the stone steps with a miserable Merouladen in tow. "Cousin!" crowed the Fire Wocky. "I swear, I'll never tease you about your appetite again! You okay?"

"I..." Hollowbelly started to say, his distended sides heaving as he struggled to speak.

They all waited expectantly.

"I ... I think that ... after today ... I'm going to have to change my name ... to Stuffedstomach!"

Everyone laughed with relief as the Green Lupe uttered another colossal belch.

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Since the Volcano was still surrounded by the magical circle of protection against the Living Food, everyone remained within the volcanic cavern, munching on bits of leftover Omelette. Meanwhile, Tekel the Tyrannian Master of Spells and Potions pored over Jhudora's Book, searching for the means of reversing the evil enchantment cast by Malkus Vile.

"I've found it!" the Techo elder exclaimed after studying the book for nearly an hour. "I can't believe how frighteningly simple it is! No wonder Malkus was able to cast it so easily. But the remedy for it is just as simple, at least for one such as I. Give me a moment, and it'll be done."

They all moved out of the Volcano to watch Tekel trace mystical signs in the air with his staff and chant a strange incantation (which I am not allowed to put in writing, since it was actually the original spell spoken backwards, and we wouldn't want _that_ to be repeated again). As soon as the ritual was performed, a number of Tyrannian Food Items which had been lurking just outside of the protective circle collapsed on the ground, becoming normal food once more.

All across Neopia, similar scenes were occurring. Word spread rapidly that the Great Neopian Food Crisis had ended, and there was much rejoicing on every continent and civilized island, as well as in the Space Station and on Kreludor. The celebratory feasting that followed would last several days, as there was inert food scattered everywhere, and nobody wanted to let any of it go to waste.

Everyone who had gone to the Volcano returned to the Tyrannian Plateau and Jungle. A few hours later, shouts of joy heralded the arrival of an enormous egg that had rolled from the top of the Volcano down to the Plateau where it broke, transforming within minutes under the hot sun into a new -- and perfectly normal -- Giant Omelette. Sabre-X was especially pleased at this.

The four NeoPets rested in the Tyrannian Village for the remainder of that day, during which Kyruggi, the Grand Elder of Tyrannia sent messages via carrier Airax of what had transpired at the Volcano to the other Neopian world leaders. (Tyrannia is one of the few lands that does not have electronic Neomail systems in their shops, and so in order to send a message to another country, the Tyrannians developed the Airax-mail system.)

Thus, when Pearlbeak, Hollowbelly, 7 Flames and BlossomAnn finally returned to Central Neopia, they were amazed to step out of the transporter booth and find themselves surrounded by a vast welcoming committee. Fyora the Faerie Queen was there, along with King Skarl of Meridell and Mumbo Pango of Mystery Island, all of them with their various entourages. Also in attendance were our heroes' siblings, Jonah the Striped Flotsam, Kuvu the Purple Kougra and Miss Claus the Christmas Bruce (they had found out what had happened by watching the NTV News). What followed was a touching reunion with hugs and joyful tears all around.

Queen Fyora made a speech praising the companions for their accomplishment. Then King Skarl stepped forward. They felt a little nervous at this, for the King of Meridell was a Skeith like Malkus Vile. But to their delighted relief, he only wanted to bestow an honorary knighthood upon the four of them, saying "Remember, young ones, not all Skeiths are as vile as Vile!"

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**Epilogue:**

Malkus Vile was never caught, though the Tyrannian Army combed through the maze within the Volcano for days afterward, vainly trying to find him. It is rumored that a mysterious accomplice helped him escape capture and transported him to a far-off, unknown island somewhere in the Neopian Sea, where he plots further revenge.

Pearlbeak and 7 Flames personally saw to it that Jhudora's Book was returned to the Dark Faerie (along with Merouladen). Amazingly, Jhudora had kept her promise: Heermeedjet was still alive, though a bit worse for the wear. The Brown Meerca was finally released from his cage, and his brother shut up in his place. "I'll let this one go after I've kept him for twice as long as the other one, since it was he who absconded with my precious Book and caused all this trouble to begin with," Jhudora explained. Everyone agreed that this was a fair punishment (except for Merouladen, of course).

In addition to her knighthood, Pearlbeak was further honored by Judge Hog from the Defenders of Neopia, who awarded her with a special medallion for being the one who saw a need and led the others to achieve their goal, thereby saving all of Neopia.

BlossomAnn eventually got a Gold Card in the Gourmet Club, and has now retired from that contest. Hollowbelly decided to keep his name, and soon returned to his old eating habits, though thanks to the grateful citizens of Neopia, he is almost never hungry for very long.

But to this day, 7 Flames has not been able to bear the sight of an Almost Gummy Rat.

_The End_

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